Needing

I am needed at home, I "had" to write to my Bible study group tonight. It was hard not to be resentful. They do need me, and it's hard to be always needed, isn't it?
I read recently that God gives our children the temperament to get what they need. What a perspective! That whiney clingy child that sometimes gives good cause to want to pull out your hair, or at least open the wine (whine?) bottle? She needs you. YOU. Because no one else can be his mama.
Take a deep breath, mama. Instead of that wine, brew a cuppa, grab his or her favorite story, or three, and sit down on the couch for somma that lovin'--the kind only you can give your child.

Giving

One of my biggest realizations as a mother is when I was able, finally, to internalise the idea that my kids are not here to make my life easier. I ought not to make rules so they don't annoy me, or do things that I find tiresome, or whatever. Rather, it is my job, as the mother, the adult, the Christ-bearer, to help them learn how to live their lives. Not that I should ignore myself, but that they must be before myself in the list of priorities. And one way to make this happen is to understand that even my greatest, most beautiful ideals must bend to fit each of my children. I must not try to stuff them into the same molds, or to make them into mini-me, or even who I think they should be. I must put myself aside in order to help them be themselves, each one, individually, who God created him or her to be.
Lord, help me have patience, understanding, and gentleness in my heart and hands.

Quiet Child

If you have more than one child . . . which is it, for you? Which one is a little quieter, a little less dare-devil, less smart, less cantankerous; the one less confident, perhaps, or even maybe less cute. Every day, every single day, make sure that child has something special of your time and attention. Don't let the other one, or ones, steal your attention, or the quiet one will become less and less sure of his or her place in your heart. You know how special he is, how priceless she is to your family. Make sure your quiet child knows, too.

26 June

Those bad days . . . those to horrible days of extra trauma and sadness, when all your emotional energy is required for dealing with crises . . . your children do not have to be an added burden. Open your heart to them, and they will ease it; they will be bright spots of joy, if you let them, and allow them to come on their terms. Do not blame them for being your children, borne of your body, when the day is pressing or even crushing: love them, and they will strengthen you by reflecting your love back to you.

22 June

Good days are not just for that one day alone--that is part of you, part of your family, and part of what you are accomplishing. You did it! with His grace. Hold it in your heart. Remember it when rough moments come along--not to despair, not to cry, "Why can't it always be like that!" but as a weapon against despair, to hold up to those hissing whispered thoughts that you are a failure. Good days are not an accident.

14 June

Today is a hard day, Mama. There is crankiness, fighting, flat-out defiance. It's okay! You can do this, and you're not a failure because other people are having a bad day--even if they're your little people. Take a deep breath, now, this minute: IN. OUT. Stay calm, find your focusing word. Help them to deal with their bad day, and you won't be so focused on your own. Read stories to Mr Naughty. Cuddle with Miss Clingy. Banish Mr In-Your-Face to a project or book in his room. Remember: You are not a failure. Yes, You Can Do It!!!

xoxo